Shamefulness Part II

Good morning Mama's and Papa's little Bloggers.

One of the things I am often confronted with is Christians and certain women who often talk behind my back and keep trying to cajole me to work with the elderly, the NHS do that as well?. From a very young age I have had to look out for my mother and still people are clinging onto me expecting me to look after the elderly???. They often come out with smarmy talk "she's been called to work with the elderly" and its normal females. There is one woman that is following me constantly and i can often discern her facial expression she keeps pushing up her face in vexation. I don't know what it is about some Christians why they like to control me!

Now to speak about Shamefulness in children. As a young child growing up I had a happy childhood up until the age of about 13 when my mother took sick. Because of her mental illness this affected my inwardly although on the outside no one knew my pain. i felt ashamed to bring my school friends to my house because of fear they would make fun of my mother. So I often isolated myself at home.

Shamefulness in children can often be lonely, and can often have dire consequences and lead to fear, suicidal thoughts, depression, isolation and mental breakdown. Teaching children how to handle shame is very helpful for many children because so often 'the school play ground is the place where shame is always played out'.

Teachers often have to handle bullying at School but shamefulness is never talked about not even in the media?. We hear how children are bullied and how they felt but the word shame is hardly ever mentioned, that's because so often we fail to deal with the problem of real shame. And this shamefulness the children carries throughout adolescence and sometimes for many years throughout adulthood.

The church often played a part in my life and if it wasn't for the church I believe I would be still walking around feeling ashamed of myself.

Getting help is the first thing but knowing who to talk to is the second most important thing. All parents need to know how to talk to their own children and council them. You need to know the root cause of why a child feels ashamed, often you would be surprised at how many children feel about themselves; their appearance for example, where they live or even their lack of basic needs can often make children feel ashamed especially if they see other children who live a certain lifestyle more better than them.

Teaching children to love themselves and to think postively and feel confident in themselves is helpful to dealing with shame. Repeatedly giving affirmations to a child and telling them how good, brave or courageous they are is also helpful in building their self esteem.

However, their are some cases were shamefulness is more serious which requires intervention from professional people, police, psychologist, nurses etc.